Obsession!

When I was packing up stuff from our house, I found a new CD that Simon had bought.

Don't you fake it by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.

We really, and I mean really, love their song 'Face Down' but we hadn't got much further than that. This album was the last thing Simon put on his Ipod, a couple of days before he died. (I only just figured this out.)

I've been listening to it for ages now. At first I just skipped between two songs 'Face Down' and 'Cat and Mouse' but I listen from start to finish now, in my car. 'Your Guardian Angel' is SUCH a good song also. These 3 have brought on some major tears. Which is fine. (very safe driving also)

So I just absolutely LOVE this album, and I thank Simon for bringing it into my life :)

It's funny how having good songs to listen to as you're driving makes things so much more bearable. I can listen to all the songs (even the three mentioned) now without crying (most of the time) - I have already come a long way, I can be a lot calmer about things - at least at the moment.

It's nice to think one of my coping strategies was given to me from Simon.

I love you, man

Just got back from seeing this movie. It was really funny. Paul Rudd and Jason Segel are so good and especially awesome together. Def recommend. (great in depth movie review self. I'm tired.)

Blog This

I've joined up to a new community for Oz bloggers. There is a weekly challenge to post about.
You can find the site here.

Challenge 2 is

"If I were to invent something to make life easier or more fun for me...and WHY.."

Now, I think everybody would like what I would most like to invent, but I want it the most ok? lol.

If I could invent anything, it would be a teleporter.

My best friend is in America.

Almost my whole family is in Warrnambool. My Dad. My Nan.

I have other family and friends in Perth.

A cousin in Adelaide.

What I wouldn't give to be able to instantly pop up for a visit! No more missing people, imagine that!

'So what's on for the weekend Bash?

'Oh, just going to Yellowstone to see Pat, then I'll head up to Perth to see Janelle'

If I could invent anything, it would be a teleporter, for instant access to the people I love and miss the most.

(Also if I could pop up to heaven to visit Simon, that would be very much appreciated)

My Blog

So when I started this blog, it was pretty random and light!

Now I have suffered a massive loss in my life and some of my posts might be tinged with sadness. I would like to post about Simon sometimes, because he will always be a part of me and I am never going to forget about him as a way to cope.

So maybe my blog will be a bit more like this...

HAYLEY BASH - life - fun - randomness - grief - clothes - simon - happy - sad - life

Stick with me?

Today...

Today was White Wreath Day.

In remembrance of all victims of suicide.

I didn't know this until I decided to look at the site today of all days.

My uncle told me about the white wreath website when Simon passed away.

Simon took his own life. It is a very hard thing to understand.

White Wreath are a great organisation. They try to raise awareness of mental illness and the struggles that people can go through. They provide havens and support for people who are having a hard time coping with life. They support the family and friends who are left behind when a loved one commits suicide.

I have known people who have taken their own lives, one a friend 2 years ago. I didn't really dwell on it too much - but when Simon died, it really hit home. He was my partner for 4 years - I knew him better than anyone. And I still couldn't stop him from leaving.

We need to be more aware of how hard life can be for some people. We need to be able to talk about suicide like we talk about other deaths. Death is a hard subject at the best of times, but I think suicide is the hardest thing to talk about, probably because it is the hardest to understand. There is always the question of : WHY. That is a question I ask constantly but won't get an answer too until I see Simon again, which I believe will happen one day :) I also believe that wherever he is now, he is happy and at peace.

I hope it doesn't upset anybody me posting about suicide - I wasn't sure if it was the right thing to do or not, but this can be part of the problem - it's very taboo. I'm not ashamed of the fact that Simon was a victim of suicide. It's sad and awful, and I'm only two months into the very long grieving process for my special boy, but if we can do anything to make it easier for people that are struggling to get help, we should.

Write Wreath also have 'sock-it-to-suicide' where you wear bright socks during the 3rd week of October and donate a gold coin. I'm hoping we can do this at my workplace - they were very supportive in 'footy jumper friday' to raise funds for beyond blue earlier this year, which was great.

Thanks to everyone for your messages of support. If you feel like writing something, please do. I know words might be hard to find, but every show of love and support really helps.

New hair

Well not so new anymore. It's holding up fairly well six weeks later
though.

Simon and I always joked that he liked blonde hair the best. Whenever we found a stray hair somewhere, we'd say accusingly 'IT'S BLONDE!' implying some blonde vixen had been around.

So when my lovely hairdresser cousin Juliet said 'let me know if there is anything I can do' , I said yep.. make me blonde!!!

Before you have a heart attack, don't worry, I could never go full blonde. I am definitely right as a brunette. I already had a filthy blonde patch from where my red or pink or whatever it was at the time had grown out, so I just got it done right. Funnily enough, when Juliet bleached it, it came out with pink all through it! The colour of fairy floss. But that faded quickly. So ta-da, here is my new duo coloured hair.

I really like it. I'm craving some pink though!! Could I pull off blonde and pink at the same time, that is the question.

The spunkiest boy ever

YOU ARE GORGEOUS.
I miss you.