Explaining

Today I had a quick chat to someone who works near me. We have chatted often over the 3 years I've worked there. She's lovely. I said I wasn't having any time off soon as I'm saving my leave for my trip to America/UK. She asked if my boyfriend was coming with me.

It's like my world stops for a second.
Don't ask me that.
Don't make me say it.

'He actually passed away'

It's not natural saying that, it doesn't even feel real, or even close to ok.

This will probably happen many times, but it's the first time I've had it really as yet.

It's hard to explain, because I just can't. Not in a few minutes. Not ever really.

I miss my boy.

I know I'm biased, but seriously, how good looking is he?